The GiGiLL Phrasebook™: Office-compatible translations for common expressions
A technically accurate, workplace-appropriate translation that removes the offensive language while retaining the original meaning and as much unnecessary specificity as possible.
Common Phrase: "This is a shitshow"
GiGiLL Phrase: "This is a public-facing scenario characterized by an overabundance of uncontained excrement and limited evidence of management"
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Common Phrase: "Pull your head out of your ass"
GiGiLL Phrase: "Please remove your cranium from its current position within your gluteal region"
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Common Phrase: "Panties in a bunch"
GiGiLL Phrase: "Experiencing undergarment-related discomfort with associated emotional distress"
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Common Phrase: "Throw someone under the bus"
GiGiLL Phrase: "Forcefully reposition someone into the path of an oncoming transit vehicle"
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Common Phrase: "This is a nightmare"
GiGiLL Phrase: "This resembles a distressing subconscious experience typically occurring during sleep"
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Common Phrase: "Half-assed"
GiGiLL Phrase: "Completed using approximately 50% of the available gluteal musculature"
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Common Phrase: "Pushing shit uphill with a stick"
GiGiLL Phrase: " Attempting the uphill relocation of poop using a basic tool in direct opposition to gravity"
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Common Phrase: "Drinking the Kool-Aid"
GiGiLL Phrase: "Engaging in the voluntary consumption of a brightly coloured beverage of unknown and potentially toxic composition as a demonstration of unquestioning commitment"
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Common Phrase: "Beating a dead horse"
GiGiLL Phrase: "Applying repeated physical strikes to a non-living equine with zero probability of response "